Anger and Waste Management

“Here’s a good thing to do if you go to a party and you don’t know anybody: First take out the garbage. Then go around and collect any extra garbage that people might have, like a crumpled napkin, and take that out, too. Pretty soon, people will want to meet the busy garbage guy. ” – Jack Handy (click here for more quotes)

Armed with a garbage bag filled with yesterday’s luxuries, I headed towards the dumpster. I had done this many times before, but something was different on this one particular day. Sound was coming from the dumpster. And not just sound – words … shocking words, the kind that would make the South Park kids appear very eloquent by comparison…

Oscar the Grouch coming out of a dumpster
Worm Races! Get your $#@!*% tickets!

I immediately began to wonder if Oscar the Grouch was real, and why he had such a potty mouth. The closer I got to the dumpster, the more profane the language became. After I quickly deposited my wealth of garbage into the over-sized safety deposit box, a very irate-looking bank-manager emerged from the trash vault. No, thank you, sir, I do not need a loan.

The Garbage Golum, as it turned out, was hunting for a key. His significant other had mistakenly thrown it out. As it is said, one man’s trash is another man’s treasure. Because of the type of key, replacing it would be somewhat costly. As this was the key to his new truck, he was not a happy trash harvester.

As alarming as coming across a cursing dumpster was, one consolation was that at least he was depositing the kind of language he was using in the correct place – in the garbage. And what better place to dispose of anger and frustration than in a dumpster. I believe we all need an outlet, even if it may appear trashy to others.


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