Spam Wars: The Phantom Commenter

Spam is like that annoying song you can’t get out of your head – it doesn’t seem to go away. Spam can be found everywhere from your email inbox to your kitchen (or at least your supermarket). And yes, your blog. If you haven’t received any comment spam yet, it is coming.

Spam used to infuriate me. I used Spam Cop, a spam reporting service, to help cut down on spam but I was fighting a losing battle. Finally, I cancelled my email account and opened several new ones – one of which only close friends and family would be given, one for MSN, and other disposable addresses to be given out as needed.

I now see the lighter side of spam. Every once in a while, I do glance at my spam folder to remove the garbage from my fishing net, so to speak. It’s interesting to see what Google AdSense makes of the spam folder.

Comment spam can be a big problem. Thankfully, WordPress and Akismet have measures in place to help fight spam. Out of morbid curiosity, I do take the odd gander at the blog’s spam folder. Some very strange things have accumulated over the last while. Here are a few:

A youtube video, or at least its owner, left this comment on ‘Super Cat and Fat Cat‘, a light-hearted post about our two adopted cats:

This is my first time i visit here. I found so many entertaining stuff in your blog, especially its discussion. From the tons of comments on your posts, I guess I am not the only one having all the enjoyment here! Keep up the excellent work.

I’m glad youtube video spammer enjoyed what he saw of the blog, but his comment about “tons of comments” is just sarcastic and hurtful! I appreciate all visits to this site, and enjoy receiving comments. I have yet to receive “tons of comments” though.

On ‘Failed Escalation‘, a post describing how call center operators play telephone tag with their customers, a spammer from a marketing website wrote:

Spam Comment: "Thank you that tutorial."

Not so much a tutorial as it was a rant, but you’re welcome, I guess.

On the same post, earlier that day, from a website offering payday loans:

Spam Comment: "Hey pleasant blog, Keep doing work, great job!"

That’s Mr. Pleasant blog to you. I’ll keep doing work. Thanks for the advice.

And here is one of the strangest comment spam caught thus far:

Spam Comment: "I would like to show some thanks to this writer just for bailing me out of such a crisis. Right after researching through the world wide web and getting solutions that were not beneficial, I assumed my life was gone. Living devoid of the approaches to the difficulties you’ve sorted out through this report is a critical case, and those that could have adversely damaged my career if I hadn’t encountered your web page. The ability and kindness in controlling all things was excellent. I don’t know what I would have done if I had not encountered such a step like this. I can at this moment look ahead to my future. Thanks for your time so much for the professional and amazing guide. I will not be reluctant to refer your blog post to anyone who desires guidance on this situation."

This comment does seem genuine, but keep in mind that it was linked to a marketing website of some kind, and was left on ‘Snacking my way to Citizenship’, a post describing Newfoundland food. I’m not sure what crisis would involve Newfie snacks, unless somewhere a Kitchen Party was in serious trouble.

“I assumed my life was gone” – because senor / senorita spammer couldn’t fund information about food? Wow, that is a crisis. Where is the Pillsbury Dough Boy when you need him?

“The ability and kindness in controlling all things was excellent.” It sounds like the spammer has me confused with God. That’s a little awkward…

“I can at this moment look ahead to my future.” Yup, that’s what a bite of Hard Tack will do for you!

Spam is annoying, clogging up email in-boxes and littering blog comment sections, but at times it can be funny. What is the funniest spam email or comment you’ve received? And if you’re a comment spammer, also please leave a comment. I’d love to do a follow-up post with more strange spam 🙂

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4 Comments

  1. I once found someone’s non-spam comment in my spam folder.

    • Kash

      I’ve also had to “un-spam” a few comments which ended up in my spam folder. It is unfortunate that occasionally legitimate comments end up there.

  2. Thank you for bailing me out of that crisis. Your omnipotence is overwhelming. I’m now telepathic.

    You’re welcome!!

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