Costume Does Not Equal Candy
“And neither snow, nor rain, nor heat, nor gloom of night, nor the winds of change, nor a nation challenged, will stay us from the swift completion of our appointed rounds. Ever.”
But this is not only the creed of the U.S. Postal Service; it is also that of the Trick-or-tweeters.
Coming between Trick-or-treaters and their candy is a risky business. It’s like standing between Rottweilers and a meat loaf, or between a mob of angry shoppers and a bargain bin.
As popular as Trick-or-treating is in North America, Halloween fever has yet to hit South Africa. Dressing up in a Halloween costume and banging on your neighbour’s door is extremely unlikely to get you any candy there. Especially with the abundance of cricket bats.
Because Halloween is somewhat of a foreign concept to South Africans, South African expats, such as myself, can have difficulty wrapping their minds around it. Are kids meant to circle the neighbourhood, gobbling up all the candy as they go, like Pac-Man on a sugar rush?
But no South African was less prepared for All-Hallows-Even than Frik, a recent immigrant to Canada.
On the morning of October 31st, Jacob went to Frik’s house with a basket full of laundry and a face full of self-pity.
Jacob: Frik, I need your help with some laundry.
Frik: Do I look like the bloody maid? Don’t answer that!
That afternoon, still desperate and not knowing where the nearest laundromat was, Jacob gave Frik a call.
Jacob: Just calling to check if you’d changed your mind about my laundry.
Frik: Yes, now that you mention it, nothing would bring me more joy than spending some quality time with your dirty clothes.
Frik: No! Now stop calling!
And then the evening came. And so did the Trick-or-treaters.
Frik: Now, Jacob, I know you need your laundry done, but parading about wearing a sheet over your head isn’t going to help your cause!
This Halloween, may neither snow, nor rain, nor heat, nor gloom of laundry, nor the winds of change, nor a cricket-bat wielding nation come between you and your loved ones. Or candy.