iCat 1.0

Put down your iPhone. Turn off your iPod. Set aside your iPad. There’s a new gadget in town, and it’s about to climb its way up the technological scratch-post, leaving its competitors in the litter box. Introducing ‘Independent Completely Automated Technology’, or iCat for short.

The latest in computer wizardry, the iCat is almost completely universal in application. It works well with most iterations of Windows, provided a window ledge is available. iCat is also compatible with the original Nintendo Wii, the newer Wii U, as well as other personal pronouns.

The iCat is currently available in two models: the laptop and desktop.

There is speculation about a smaller, softer, hand-held model to be released in the future. The model’s current nick-name is the Microsoft Palm Top. More information on this device will be released closer to its launch date.

A foreseeable drawback of the iCat is its incompatibility with the most popular pointing device: the mouse. Another shortcoming is its lack of support for Twitter.

Technicians and developers have worked around the clock to resolve these issues. After months of failed experimentation and kgs of catnip, the conclusion was finally reached: the iCat’s inability to work with the mouse and Twitter has to do with the very makeup of the iCat. To deny the iCat this quirk is to deny the iCat in its entirety. Fortunately, a low-cost solution to the mouse-compatibility issue has been developed and made available through a host of retail outlets.

Despite the slight setback of having to readjust to the iCat’s pointing device, experts in the field believe that the advantages of the iCat far outway the disadvantages. One application of the iCat allows for it to even replace other office peripherals, such as the paper shredder.

Super computers are nowhere near the level of processing boasted by the iCat. With pre-programmed independence standard in all models, it knows its owner’s needs and will adjust its behaviour accordingly. For example, if the owner decides to read a book – an obviously obsolete device when compared to the superiority of the iCat – the iCat will neatly place itself on the book to protect its owner from exposure to it.

As this new technology leaps from the office into all aspects of their owner’s lives, one thing is for sure, it will certainly purr its way to the top, ripping its opposition to shreds as it does so. Join the iCat revolution, where you are no longer the controller.

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