The Dark Side

Just as Anakin was seduced by the power of the dark side, so, to have I come to appreciate life on the other side of the call centre – the outside, that is.

By so doing, I have also inadvertently become a player in that extremely unfair and illogical poker game called “Customer Service”, where before, I was the dealer.

Within the confines of the call centre, fellow agents and I used to laugh at the stupidity of customers.

Rep:            For the security of your account, you will have to create a 4-digit pass code.
Customer:  Um…okay… BOAT.
Rep:            Sorry, it has to be 4 numbers.
Customer:  Um, okay, 775.
Rep:            And the last digit?
Customer:  Oh, um… 5
Rep:            Thank you. So you’re pass code will be 7755.
Customer:  I’ll never remember that!

Now that I have the opportunity to BE the stupid customer, I can use the strict quality score sheet that customer service reps are subject to as a shield, protecting me from any potential insults.

Rep:   Thank you for calling ABC Telecom. How can I help you?
Kash:  Yes, I would like to activate a phone.
Rep:   I’d be more than happy to help you with that. May I please have your account                       number.
Kash:  Um… I don’t have that with me.
Rep:   That’s not a problem, I can also search by your name. May I please have your pin?
Kash:  I have a pin? I don’t remember setting one up…
Rep:   For the verification of the account, can you please say your postal code.
Kash:  …um… it is … well it starts with …

Miraculously, the very patient rep managed to not only authenticate me, but activated my phone, despite me taking several minutes to figure out how to remove the sim card, and then another 5 minutes to figure out how to make a test call. Long live the patient rep!

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